Navigating the world of modern dating can feel overwhelming, especially when you're trying to make genuine connections in an age dominated by dating apps.
If you're someone who has been frustrated by online dating, you're not alone. As someone who met my husband online, I completely understand the urge to give up or throw your phone out the window! But don't give up, you can still meet people and form healthy, loving relationships.
Keep reading, or scroll to the bottom of this article to watch the video.
1. Dating Apps: Love Them or Hate Them?
Dating apps have a bad reputation. It's easy to say they're problematic, but the reality is that 60% of people meet their partners online today.
So, if you're looking for love, ruling out dating apps completely might not be the best move if you want to keep all your options open
While they can be frustrating, consider this: it's simply a part of the current dating landscape. If you resist it, you might be blocking potential opportunities. Instead of focusing on how much you hate the apps, try to find a way to use them that works for you, and keep an open mind (tips on that below).
2. Stop Wasting Time with the Wrong Matches
One of the downsides of dating apps is also its plus side - they expose us to a large volume of potential matches.
This can be great as we can meet people we'd never otherwise meet, but it also means many won't be the right fit. It's easy to get caught up in endless conversations that lead nowhere. So how do you make the most of your time?
For me, setting boundaries was key. I refused to let conversations drag on for more than a week without a dating being set up. If a date wasn't initiated, or the person fell off after I suggested one, I moved on. The point is to avoid wasting your time and energy on matches that aren't going anywhere. Modern dating means you have more options, but that also means more opportunities to waste time with the wrong people.
3. Rejection Overload: Don't Take It Personally
With online dating, you're likely to experience more rejection than in traditional face-to-face settings. This can be emotionally draining, but the key is not to take it personally (more on that here). Keep in mind that rejection isn't a reflection of your worth—it's simply part of the process. Get clear on what you want and who you are, and try not to let the emotional toll of rejection weigh you down. The right person is out there, and it's worth putting yourself out there, even if you face a few setbacks along the way.
4. Be Clear About Your Intentions
When you're swiping through profiles or meeting someone for a date, it's important to be upfront about what you're looking for. Whether you want a long-term relationship or just something casual, it's best to know your intentions and communicate them early on. If someone isn't on the same page, it's better to know.
Don't be afraid to ask potential matches about their intentions too. You don't need to bombard them with a list of questions, but get a feel for what they're looking for in a relationship.
And remember, actions speak louder than words—if someone says they want a serious relationship but their actions don't align, that's your cue to move on.
5. Remember to Meet People IRL
Although dating apps are convenient, they can sometimes create a disconnect between online interaction and real-life chemistry.
As well as apps, or instead of, you might want to explore ways you can meet people in real life.
You can let friends and colleagues know you're open to meeting someone, join classes or clubs you're genuinely interested in, or even strike up casual conversations with strangers (scary I know, but don't see it as a way to set up a date and more a way to connect with people). When you take the pressure off, you might just meet someone naturally.
6. Don't Buy Into Instant Gratification
In a world where we have everything at our fingertips—from instant downloads to Amazon deliveries—it's tempting to expect the same instant gratification from relationships. But relationships don't work like that.
If the first date doesn't go perfectly, don't give up on someone right away. Give them a second or third chance. Sometimes, it takes time for people to show their true selves.
Remember that relationships are not about finding the perfect person. No one is perfect, and expecting that perfection can set you up for disappointment.
Modern dating isn't without its challenges, but it also offers opportunities to meet people you might never have crossed paths with otherwise.
The key is to approach it with an open mind, set boundaries that work for you, and focus on finding the right person, not just the next person. Whether you're using dating apps or meeting people in real life, remember that the process is about finding connection, not perfection.
If you're struggling with the modern dating landscape, remember that you're not alone. Take your time, focus on what you're looking for, and don't be afraid to navigate it in a way that aligns with your values and intentions. You can find a loving, healthy relationship, even in today's world of swiping.
For more tips on navigating modern dating, check out my free guide, '7 Ways to Shift Your Energy and Mindset to Meet Your Dream Person'.
And if you'd like to understand and heal your past, and build tools to create healthy relationships, we can work together. Reach out and book your Dating + Relationship Session today.
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