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Fear You'll Be Alone Forever? Let's Reframe That

Writer's picture: Louise FitzgeraldLouise Fitzgerald

If you're single, you may find yourself worrying that you'll be alone forever, that you'll never meet someone, or at least someone amazing....


This is a common fear and worry, so let's explore why this fear exists and how you can move through it with confidence and hope.

And if you want to watch the video instead, scroll to the bottom of this article.


The Fear of Being Alone: Where It Comes From


Understanding where this fear comes from is super helpful. It's not all in your head, there's nothing wrong with you for having this fear.


The fear of being alone often stems from societal conditioning. From a young age, many of us are exposed to the idea that a successful life includes finding a partner. It's reflected in movies, stories, and even the toys we're given as children.


For women especially, the narrative of meeting someone, getting married, and having a family has been deeply ingrained for generations. Historically, a woman's worth was tied to partnership and marriage, which also influenced financial security and social standing.


This conditioning can create internal stress when life doesn't follow the expected timeline.


You might feel behind or unsuccessful if you haven't met someone yet. Understanding the roots of this fear helps put it into perspective. It's not about a flaw in you but rather the weight of societal and even intergenerational expectations.


Where you can, zooming out and asking yourself what you really want can be helpful here.


And it's also worth noting that it's ok if it is something you want. Humans are social animals, and that connection is something we all desire, so that's ok too.


How Fear Can Lead to Settling


As well as understanding the root cause of the fear, we need to see how it can drive us.


When fear takes over, it can lead to behaviours that don't serve you. For instance, you might:


  • Stay in relationships that aren't fulfilling.

  • Continue dating someone even when your intuition tells you it's not the right fit.

  • Prioritize being partnered over being happy


The problem with these choices is that they can damage your self-worth. The more time you spend in the wrong relationships, the harder it can feel to believe that a healthy, aligned partnership is possible.


Instead, it's essential to focus on quality over quantity in dating. When you're clear about your values and what you're looking for, you're more likely to attract a relationship that complements your life rather than detracts from it.


And don't get stuck with the wrong person, as you won't be free and available for the right person.


Reframing Being Single


Rather than seeing being single as a lack, view it as an opportunity to create a full, happy life.


I know it's cliched, but it is true...When you're content and fulfilled on your own, you bring more to a relationship when the right person comes along. Here are some ways to shift your mindset:


  • Build a Full Life: Pursue hobbies, deepen friendships, and create experiences that bring you joy. When you're engaged in your own life, dating becomes less about filling a void and more about sharing your happiness with someone else. Not to mention it gives you things to talk about on dates!

  • Acknowledge Loneliness Without Judgment: Feeling lonely at times is normal. It's a human experience, not a sign that something is wrong with you. Finding connection through friends, family, or communities can help balance these moments.

  • Trust Your Unique Timeline: Life doesn't have a one-size-fits-all plan. Comparing yourself to others only fuels unnecessary anxiety. Your path might look different, but that doesn't make it any less valuable.


Addressing and Releasing Fear


Acknowledging and releasing fear is crucial to creating space for hope and positivity. Here are a few practices to help:


  • Journaling: Write down your fears and explore where they come from. Often, seeing them on paper can make them feel more manageable.

  • Somatic Exercises: Practices like yoga or breathwork can help release fear stored in the body.

  • Therapy or Coaching: Talking to someone who understands can provide valuable insights and tools.

  • Mindset Shifts: Focus on what you value in a relationship and what you bring to the table. Look for examples of people who found love in unconventional ways or at different stages of life to inspire you and open your mind to different pathways and possibilities.



The fear of being alone forever is deeply human, but it doesn't have to define your experience. By reframing your mindset, building a fulfilling life, and addressing the roots of your fear, you can shift from feeling stuck to feeling empowered.


Of course there will be times when you can't feel positive and hopeful, and that's ok too.


Remember, your journey is uniquely yours, and there's no timeline you need to follow. Trust the process, focus on your growth, and know that the right relationship will complement your already beautiful life.



You can get support to heal your past, understand your dynamics in relationships, and help you with communication tools and ways to create healthy relationships. Book a dating reset session now.


Louise Fitzgerald, is an Intuitive Relationship Coach & mindfulness teacher who helps you create the healthy relationship you deserve. Read more here.





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