Waiting for the phone to vibrate.
It does!
Your heart starts beating and you pick it up to see it's a message from your mum.
Damn.
When will they message?!
Can you relate? Either you're chatting to a potential on an app, or you've had a first date and you just want to hear from that person.
It can feel excruciating to be fixated on someone and not know whether they feel the same right?
One of my clients recently asked me how she can remain open when dating when she is currently obsessed with this one guy.
I found dating and looking for a life partner was one of the hardest journeys I ever went on. It was a constant rollercoaster, so I totally understand these feelings of uncertainty and confusion.
Funnily enough, my partner and I have recently been looking to buy a house and I've noticed that the lessons I learned in dating have been super helpful in this process too, and the similarities are all too familiar...
Every day I find myself refreshing the listings online, hoping something with potential shows up on my screen (Bumble anyone?). I turn up to inspections, some houses look like their photos, some do not (sound familiar?). And I'm in a constant cycle of excitement, hope and disappointment.
AND I've even got fixated on a house or two. Thinking it's the one, sending links to my family, telling my friends about it. In fact, there's one house we even have an offer on right now, but the owner is stalling on accepting, we're not sure she's ready to commit.
So how does this relate to you and dating?
Well, I know that I REALLY love this place we have an offer on. I can imagine myself snuggled up on the couch on weekends, cooking, laughing and being really happy with it. BUT, one thing I also know is - 'what is for me, won't pass me by'. This house might not end up being the one.
So, I stay open to other houses and keep going to inspections.
I keep repeating this phrase: 'what is for me won't pass me by', because it helps me feel relaxed and reminds me to trust that the universe has a plan.
Maybe you can give it a try too?
The themes of dating and looking for a house are the same. It's all about putting yourself out there, trusting in divine timing, making big commitments but trying not to get too attached to outcomes, trying to be patient when it's really damn hard.
So if you're finding dating hard, here are your key takeaways:
- If this person you can't stop thinking about is for you, it will happen. Remember, what is for you won't pass you by.
- It's totally fine to be excited about someone (it's actually a great manifesting tool), but stay open too, you never know if something even better is around the corner. You don't want to miss something even more amazing because your blinders were on. e.g. we were totally happy that one of our earlier offers didn't get accepted on a house because we like this recent house even more. We also know that if we don't get this, something EVEN better must be on its way, so we keep looking whilst this offer is on the table.
-Timing can't be forced. This is the hard one, I'm not a patient person. But I will tell you this, I had SO many dates over the years and just wanted to meet the guy of my dreams. I couldn't understand why it was taking so long and kept hoping that things would work out with one of these guys. In the end, I'm SO HAPPY that none of them worked out. Timing was everything for me and my partner we met at the right time in both of our lives.
- Being yourself is key. I found the quickest way to scare off the wrong ones was to be myself, to really lean into the niche things I loved that I knew weren't for everyone. It could sometimes feel like rejection when they didn't like me, but it also meant I wasn't spending my next weekend with them, I was available to go on a date with someone else who might be right. My first date with my now-partner was amazing, we talked about life after death, spirituality, hip-hop and what makes a good cup of tea. Boring or weird for some, but perfect for us.
- Every date (like every house inspection for us) will help you figure out what you do and don't want. Just see each date as an opportunity to learn something about someone or their life experience, this takes the pressure out of all of them needing to land and hopefully, that makes you feel chill about dates rather than nervous.
Love Louise xx
p.s. sick and tired of being single and wanting to understand the bigger picture? A relationship reset can help you get some clarity and overcome any limiting beliefs you might have about relationships and start attracting the right kind of people. Click here to learn more
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