How to Choose the Right Counsellor for You (Even If You've Never Had Therapy)

Deciding to see a counsellor can be a big step, especially if you're new to counselling and don't know what to expect. So how do you find the right counsellor for you?

Choosing the right counsellor for you is very important. There's something called the 'therapeutic alliance', which is basically the collaborative and trusting relationship a person has with their counsellor. Studies have shown that this relationship is one of the most important factors to your counselling outcomes, it can be more important than the treatment method or even length of treatment.

Don't let that freeze you in selecting a counsellor, it's just helpful to know that it's ok to take your time to find someone you like, and it's also ok if you try a counsellor once and don't want to see them again.

It's important you find a counsellor who you feel comfortable with, who you can trust, and who you feel understands you and your situation.

Start with what you're looking for support with

The first question you could consider is what topics or areas of life you might like to cover, just at a high level. It could be that you'd like to cover lots of different topics, and that's ok too.

For example, people seek counselling for many reasons, including:

• Stress or anxiety

• Relationship or dating challenges

• Grief and loss

• Fertility or IVF-related stress

• Big life decisions or transitions

• Feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or emotionally exhausted

• Trauma

• Ageing parents

• Navigating illness

  
  

Some counsellors work broadly, while others have particular areas of interest. Reading a counsellor's website can give you a sense of whether they support people with experiences similar to yours.

Does a counsellor need lived experience in the area they support?

A counsellor may have a lived experience in the area that you'd like support with, and that might be really important for you, so you can always search for those counsellors with a very specific area of focus.

A counsellor may have lived experience, but not always disclose it on their website; they may just mention they support this area. It's an ethical choice as to whether counsellors disclose their lived experience with clients, but they may bring that first-hand knowledge and empathy to the role regardless and still be able to support you.

And of course, lived experience isn't essential in being able to support you unless that is of extreme importance. Good counsellors have completed studies and continue to upskill in their areas of treatment. Just like a doctor is able to support people with conditions they don't have, counsellors can support lots of different clients with different backgrounds and different life experiences.

You may also want to consider identity in your choice. Do you want someone who identifies as a specific gender, who lives in a similar city or location, who is a member of a community that you also identify with, a race or a religion? Once again, just know that someone outside of your identity can definitely support you, but if these factors are important in your selection, it's important to consider and find a counsellor who is the right fit.

Consider the counsellor's approach and style

Different counsellors work in different ways. Some are more structured and goal-focused, while others take a slower, more exploratory approach. There's no right or wrong — what matters is what feels supportive for you.

You might ask yourself:

• Do I want practical strategies, reflection, or a mix of both?

• Do I prefer a calm, gentle style or something more direct?

• Do I feel comfortable with the way this counsellor communicates?

• Do I want someone who is serious or someone who injects humour?
  

Many counsellors describe their approach on their website. Trust your response as you read — how it feels often matters more than the terminology.

Qualifications and registration in Australia

In Australia, counsellors can have different training pathways. While titles can vary, it's reasonable to look for:

• Relevant tertiary qualifications in Counselling

• Membership with a recognised professional body, for example Australian Counselling Association or PACFA

• Clear information about experience and areas of support

If you're unsure, it's okay to ask a counsellor about their training or professional background. A good counsellor will welcome the question.

Online or in-person counselling

Another consideration is whether you prefer online or in-person sessions.

Online counselling offers:

• Greater flexibility

• No travel time

• Access from anywhere in Australia

• A familiar, private environment
  

For many people, online counselling feels just as supportive as face-to-face sessions — sometimes even more so. Others prefer in-person connection. Both are valid options.

Trust your sense of fit

As I mentioned up top, one of the most important factors in counselling is the relationship itself. Feeling safe, respected, and understood matters more than a specific technique or approach.

After a session or two, you might reflect on:

• Do I feel heard and taken seriously?

• Do I feel comfortable being honest?

• Do I leave sessions feeling supported or clearer?

• Do I feel there is a plan forward or a collaborative approach?
  

If it doesn't feel like the right fit, it's okay to look elsewhere; it can sometimes be a part of the process.

So with all that said, if you'd like to explore my counselling service, you can learn more here. If you'd like to ask me questions to figure out if I'm the right counsellor for you, you can contact me here.

Louise Fitzgerald is an Australian Counsellor and Mindfulness Meditation teacher. Based in Sydney, she offers online counselling sessions and can support people nationwide.