Sometimes in life, things reach their use-by date.
No, I'm not talking about the cheese in your fridge. It might be friendships, relationships, careers that need to be let go. As we change it's normal that the things around us don't make sense anymore.
The flipside of this is we might experience rejection from the external world too when we're no longer the right fit for someone or something. As we change it's normal that people won't be drawn to us either and that's ok.
With all this change you might be faced with some big decisions about what you want to keep in your life and what you want to let go of.
You might be struggling to move forward into the new version of yourself whilst still trying to keep one foot in the past, so what can you do?
When it comes to these big life shifts, logic will only take you so far. You can write a pros and cons list and weigh up options, I'd actually recommend it. But often it's the intuition that will take you the last mile.
If you're struggling to let something go my guess is it has something to do with the 'F' word.
Fear.
I can't tell you to just trust your intuition and run with it, I know it ain't that easy!
Your decision-making process can definitely be interrupted by fear. Your intuition will be telling you to move on and let something go, but your fear will be in the backseat telling you to pump the breaks.
This is why we resist change and letting go because it's hard.
And I'll be honest, there isn't a quick way to bypass the fear, but eventually, there is an easy way.
How can you diffuse that F-bomb?
First, understand why your fear is there in the first place. This way you can put it in its place.
If you're trying to make decisions in life and let something go, you may not have two options in front of you. More often than not there is an option A and then blank space, e.g.
You have to decide about taking that job or having no job
Staying in that relationship or being single
Signing that lease or potentially having nowhere to live in a couple of weeks
The unknown can be damn scary. Of course your fear has come knocking.
My next tip is to improve your relationship with your intuition outside of these big decision making processes. The fear voice can be quite loud, so you want to build up your intuition so it becomes equal to or ideally louder than that fear voice.
Next, build that trust with your intuition, the more you work with it the more you have a backlog of reference points of the times you trusted it (even when it was scary) and things worked out.
Still a bit unsure? Here's what it looks like in action:
I've had situations where I had no job and still turned down a job offer because my intuition was telling me it wasn't right. Within weeks I had another offer that was more aligned. You can see how taking the first thing would have closed me off for the second option, the right one, that was just a little later. Fear would have driven me to take option A, but I had spent years building up a relationship with my intuition so I was able to hear that voice, listen to it and trust it.
What if on top of the fear you're just not that comfortable rejection or change?
When it comes to rejection I follow Susan Sarandon's advice. She said she celebrates rejection (literally takes herself out to dinner) because that rejection opens her up for something else. I started to follow this method of celebrating rejection (minus taking myself out to dinner) and found I started to feel excited when something falls through because I can only assume something better is coming along. I flipped the switch from feeling sad, bad or 'rejected' to feeling excited and hopeful. Maybe you can try this too?
This same principle works when the decision is in your hands and you choose to let go of an opportunity or something in your life that isn't working for you anymore. There is freedom and power in that, even if it feels scary at the time. Knowing something isn't right and letting it go means you are in alignment, you are in alignment to then accept the thing that is coming for you at the time it is supposed to. You can feel excited and hopeful instead of scared and fearful. You can celebrate that you followed your intuition and this strengthens it.
It's gutsy and nerve-wracking at times to follow your intuition, it requires you to lean into the trust that it will be ok. Trusting there is something better for you around the corner and breathing through the gap in between.
Just remember, doing this means you are open to the right thing, not just saying yes to the first thing.
So to summarise everything in an easy to follow checklist:
If fear is overriding your decision making, it's time to build or develop a relationship with your intuition so the intuition voice is louder and drowns out the fear voice
You need to get comfortable with letting things go so you can listen to the intuition and ignore the fear.
Get comfortable with letting things go by celebrating rejection and celebrating your power in choosing to let things go.
Do this by switching your feelings of rejection or being scared, to feelings of excitement and hope.
Remind yourself that by being rejected or saying no to something you have opened the gateway to something better
Reflecting on these examples I wonder if you can recognise moments in your life where you have made these different kinds of choices? Following fear, following intuition, turning things down when you didn't have an option B? Or perhaps you can think about some opportunities where you could lean into your intuition in the future?
I would love to hear from you if you have any questions you can contact me here.
Maybe you think a friend would love this article too, be sure to share it and you can practice trusting your intuition together.
I look forward to connecting with you.
Louise xx