We often hear that people can't change, but is it true?
If you've ever wondered whether someone in your life, a partner, colleague, or family member—can change, then keep reading...
Prefer to listen? Here's a link to the episode 'Can people change'
My life revolves around personal growth, understanding myself better, and working on myself to show up in relationships in healthier ways, so I know change is possible. I know I've changed, I've seen my clients change...
So yes, I believe people can change. But can everyone change? Maybe not.
I think the key is willingness. How willing are we to change? How willing is the other person? And alongside willingness, there must be self-awareness.
A big part of the work I do, and the course I created, revolves around self-awareness. When I teach meditation, I often include loving-kindness meditations to help people develop empathy. As self-awareness increases, so does empathy. This connection plays a role in whether someone can change. Do they have the capacity for self-awareness, and therefore empathy?
Often, big life events trigger change. For instance, my dad had cancer when I was eight, and it became a massive wake-up call for him. He quit smoking because the hospital told him they wouldn't operate otherwise. We hear of people changing in response to significant events, taking these moments as opportunities to move in a different direction.
On a personal level, I've experienced these pivotal moments too—times when I had to surrender to something bigger than myself. In those moments, I often asked, What is this here to teach me? That question has helped me shift my perspective during challenges and fear.
Through difficulty, we grow. Growth rarely happens during pleasant, happy times (unfortunately); it happens when we face challenges. It's like going to the gym: we break down muscle tissue to build it back stronger.
Similarly, life's challenges can break us down, but they can also strengthen us if we step back and ask, 'What is this teaching me?'
Now, thinking about relationships—whether romantic, familial, or professional—we often wonder if someone else can change. But if we're self-reflective and want a healthy happy relationship, we may wonder, 'Can I change?'
One example of this, is when, someone asked me if they could change their attachment style from anxious to secure.
Attachment styles can change, and they can even vary depending on who you're with. But the question of change isn't just about the other person; it's about us too. Can I release my anxieties? Can I grow into someone more secure? If there's willingness, I believe change is possible.
At the same time, we need grace. Our ability to change is influenced by our history, trauma, childhood, and life experiences. Some people have more hurdles to overcome. And for some, there may always be a baseline level of anxiety, which is okay too.
Ultimately, change requires willingness, effort toward self-awareness, and sometimes grace for the journey. It's about understanding where we're coming from and what we bring to the table.
Have you got questions you'd like me to answer? Contact me and let me know. I can cover on the podcast or Youtube.
Louise xx
p.s. If you're single and wanting to attract a healthy happy relationship, start here with this free guide - 7 ways to shift your energy and mindset to attract your dream person.
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